Rozerem, back pain

23Feb07

I’m not having a great day, so this will be short-ish, but I thought it was important to write a post anyway. Lately I’ve been making an effort to do things even though I can’t do them as well as I’d like to. Will/desire is attempting to win out over perfectionism/paralysis.

a perfectionist:

I’ve been taking Rozerem (sleeping pill) for a few nights in the hopes that it will help with the dysautonomia and encourage my parasympathetic nervous system to kick in at night. So far, it’s actually been quite promising, and I’m really hopeful about the coming weeks (Dr. Silverman wants me to be on it for at least a couple months). I’ve noticed my energy level is slightly higher during the day (!).

I start feeling the effects of the pill about 30 min. after I take it, and after the first night it doesn’t even really feel like I’m drugged; instead, it feels like I am just getting naturally sleepy. This feeling is so wonderful I cannot even describe it! It is so exciting to feel sleepy at night, and to be able to fall asleep quickly after months of being always exhausted but never sleepy, and always taking hours to fall asleep. I’ve still been waking up in the middle of the night (especially because of Artie, the new snakey dog who has trouble understanding that he can’t sleep under the covers), but I fall back asleep almost immediately, which is exciting. The one drawback so far is that I’ve been sleeping too much (it doesn’t seem to wear off until I’ve slept for 9 or 10 hours), and I’m sleepy for about an hour after I wake up. However, in Rozerem’s fine print it says that in studies the morning sleepiness wears off after about 5 weeks. So at least it shouldn’t last forever.

I haven’t made an appointment with the biofeedback for heart rate variability guy yet. Sometimes I put off making new appointments like that — I think it’s partly because I like the feeling of hope that anticipating an appointment gives me, the idea that maybe I will find someone who can help me. Actually making the appointment and going there means I’ll find out if they really can help me, and usually they can’t, and then I’ll have to search all over again. Plus, it gets really old going to new doctors, driving there, sitting in waiting rooms, the fluorescent lights, filling out paperwork, explaining my health issues, hoping they take me and FM seriously, etc.

Here’s Maggie Taylor’s “Waiting:”

My back pain has been worse since yesterday (repotting a bunch of herbs while hunched over probably didn’t help…). The back pain definitely affects my general mood — I’m more irritable, tired, and tend more toward depression, partly because the back pain is fairly constant and I feel like I don’t have a lot of control over it. One of the worst parts of it is the associated nerve pain I get. The worst area is in the middle of my left thigh — at times it feels like a deep bruise that someone is punching, and other times it is much sharper, like the muscle is being filleted. Today the nerve pain isn’t too bad, though, it’s mainly the pain in my lower back which is limiting my movement.

Here is a bulging spinal disk, much like mine, for your viewing pleasure:

I wanted to show you a picture of scoliosis that would resemble mine, but most scoliosis curves are in the upper spine, whereas mine is in my lower spine. Plus, I feel like I am probably providing you with a few too many pictures of unfortunate things. Here are some lilacs and an enormous bird of paradise to make up for it:

So, as I’ve said, I’ve been having a less-than-lovely day. However, I just had a highly enjoyable phone conversation with my friend Josh while he had a delicious-sounding drink in New York City, and now I am feeling like the world is more exciting.

To attempt to continue this sense of excitement, I will leave you with this amusing Roz Chast cartoon (ah how I love Roz!!):

Filed under: Health, art, dogs, dysautonomia, fibromyalgia, friends, sleep   |